Three Divorce Stoppers

Hello, and welcome to the Westside churches special Monday morning coffee podcast on this podcast, our preacher Mark Robert will help you get your week started. Right? We look back at yesterday's sermon so that we can think through it further and better work the applications into our daily lives. Mark will then look forward into this week's Bible reading so that we can know what to expect and watch for. And he may have some extra bonus thoughts from time to time. So grab a cup of coffee as we start the week together on Monday Morning Coffee with Mark.

Good morning. Good morning. Welcome to the Monday morning coffee podcast for Monday, November the 15th. I'm mark. I've got a cup of coffee going and I'm ready to push all the good stuff we did yesterday forward into this week. So we'll have some spiritual momentum as we go forward into the week. I'm ready to talk daily Bible reading and yes, I have an extra thought, something special that we all need to be aware of. We need to think about, we need to be thankful for let's get to it. Let's talk about the sermon from yesterday, yesterday in the 10 40 hour, I preached the lesson about stopping divorce before it starts, by the way, if you need to listen to that lesson, the link is right here in the show notes, just click that you can listen to that sermon before you call a divorce lawyer. Here's three things you need to think about that will stop a divorce. And those three major points were first and foremost. You need to think about the commitment that you have given to your mate and to God, think about your word. Then secondly, think about kids. They are just terribly affected by divorce. There's no, if ands or buts about that. And then thirdly, just think a little bit about yourself while there are certainly several temporal consequences to divorce that accrue directly to you. Particularly, I want to emphasize here the cost to your soul divorces, not pleasing to God. There is no such thing as a divorce where everyone in that situation is pleasing to the Lord. Somebody, or maybe both somebodies are doing what is not right in God's sight. We need to think about that. When we're thinking about our marriage commitment, we're thinking about a divorce. Is this worth an eternity without God? Now the bottom line to yesterday's sermon is that's not a sermon that I wanted to preach or that I like preaching. I don't like talking about divorce. It's an extremely unpleasant subject. It has marred so many people's lives. It can get super complicated and super emotional in a hurry. I'd rather not preach about that, but I think it absolutely affects disciples. It's affecting more disciples because of the pressures of the pandemic. As I said yesterday, and it's something we need to be on guard for. However, I would much, much rather talk about how to build your marriage and keep you out of the divorce court rather than have to talk about all of the pains that come if you go down that road. So I promised at the end of the lesson that I would talk a little bit about building up your marriage. And that's why I really love this podcast. Gives me the opportunity to push out some extra content. I read a lot of stuff about marriage. I read a lot of marriage blogs. I keep up with various stats and research that's pushing across the internet. So here's a good chance for me to share with you some good ideas from the word of God that will help your marriage right now. Let me give you three of those right here. First and foremost, marriages that are successful are marriages that think like a team that is the unity. The one flesh relationship that the, from the beginning plan for marriage is based on in Genesis chapter two. They become one flesh. God says, and teamwork is really what marriage is all about. We're pulling together in the same direction. We're going towards the same goals and hopes and dreams. That is absolutely essential in this partnership relationship. That's what marriage is all about. We're helping each other toward heaven and toward the same earthly kinds of goals that would be financial or that would be job or in our child-rearing. We are working to gather teamwork is what makes marriage work. It's what God envisioned from the beginning. Then secondly, I'm going to encourage you to accent the positive accent, the positive, be more grateful, be more cheerful, be more joyful in your relationship. I'm going to borrow from Solomon here in Proverbs, 15, 15, all the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast. Then he says in Proverbs 15, 17 better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened, ox and hatred with it. As someone on a plant-based diet, I really get verse 17, the comparison of a vegetable dinner versus a steak dinner, better to be on a plant-based diet. If I can use that terminology where love is and what makes that kind of feast, verse 15, the cheerful heart let's look to compliment our mate. Let's look to say something good about the house, how she's dressed, what he's done with the yard. Let's look to build each other up. According to a study done in personal relationships magazine in 2010, when partners felt more gratitude toward their mate, they felt better about their relationship and more connected to their partner. Not only on that day, but the following day. So it has a double effect makes today better, makes tomorrow even better. Accent the positive. Finally, then your third tip here is to manage conflict. Acceptably. Every marriage has some troubles. Every marriage is going to have times where there's some arguing and there's some unpleasantness, but all of that has to be managed and kept within boundaries in Proverbs 15. Again, verse one says a soft answer, turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Are we doing what it takes to turn away wrath? Or are we just stirring it up and making it worse and worse and worse? One study says that in every marriage, 69% of the conflict that arise arises comes from a conflict. That's just unfixable. It's the same old argument over and over again. I want to suggest to you get that fixed. Either decide we're not going to talk about that anymore. That's just how things are. We're giving it up or let's do what it takes to lay that to rest. But let's get that tended to one way or the other and let's do it with kindness. Let's do it with a soft answer that will turn away wrath. So there you go. Three things. That'll keep you out of the divorce attorney's office, but even more three things that'll help. You have a better relationship where you're not even thinking about getting a divorce. You're building teamwork, unity, one flesh relationship. Secondly, you're accenting the positive. You're practicing gratitude. You're complimenting your partner. You're building them up instead of constantly nitpicking and tearing them down. And then you're managing conflict. Get that conflict out, especially that's just an always problem. It just constantly making a mass. It's just always coming up. Get that out, get it done, get it fixed, kill it, be done with it and do that in a way that is kind. You can do those things. You knew those things right now. Can't you send your partner, send your mate attacks or a Facebook message, complimenting them, building them up. Or if you haven't left for work yet, just look over there and say, honey, you sure do appreciate you looking forward to a great week with you do something right now to build your marriage up. That'll be way better than you trying later to stop a divorce hope that helps you coming out of yesterday's sermon to make your marriage even stronger. Let's turn our attention to daily Bible reading this week. We'll be reading in Matthew chapter 19, Matthew chapter 20 and part of chapter 21 on Friday that begins in Matthew 19 verses one to 15 on Monday. And what are we looking at here that try? We are looking at marriage and divorce. This of course is a really controversial section of scripture. There is endless discussion about all sorts of aspects of what Jesus is doing here. That's way outside of a podcast in a few minutes that I can spend with you here to get you ready with four daily Bible reading a couple of things that we just want to be rooted in. As we approach this section of chapter 19, we need to remember the historical circumstances here. John, the Baptist just got his head chopped off for teaching the truth on marriage, divorce and remarriage. And I have to wonder if the Pharisees weren't hoping that they could achieve something kind of like that. Either get Jesus in trouble with Herod or other authorities or cause Jesus to look bad in front of the crowd. That may be what's behind their question in verse three. Notice when they ask, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause Matthew 19 three, they are simply assuming there is a right to divorce. They are only asking about the grounds for divorce. And this may be rooted in Deuteronomy 24 and the legislation that God gave Moses there that's if then legislation, if this happens, then you do this and this and this, the rabbis went on and on and on for ever about all of that, which shouldn't be very surprising because people today go on and on and on about the couple of passages in the new Testament that cover some of this ground. But Jesus ignores all of that controversy and goes back to the, from the beginning plan for marriage. Therefore a man verse five shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. And the two shall become one flesh. So they're no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together. Let not man separate. Jesus really gives us a great lesson in what to do with religious controversy. Ignore the controversy and talk about the Bible is a pretty good plan of attack. That's what Jesus is doing here. And he gives a couple of reasons why we shouldn't get a divorce. First God created one man for one woman, no extras, no spares for Adam and Eve. God's original intention was one man for one woman for one life. Then Jesus says that the mates and was cleave to each other. That's a word that means to be cemented. That means to be glued together. And that happens when that happens, you become one flesh and you can't divide one. It's not divisible. And finally then Jesus says, God has joined them together. Who would dare to unjoin what God says is joined. Now Jesus goes on then in verse nine to say the divorce for every cause results in adultery results in all kinds of problems of every sort and all of that, just underlines what Jesus is saying. And that goes on in the private discussion with the disciples inside verse 10 are discussing then some of the ramifications of this, all of that underlines, that what Jesus says is you get married. You ought to stay married. And I honestly think sometimes we talk way too much about exceptions, way too much about when you can get a divorce. What's an unscriptural divorce. What's a scriptural divorce. What we really ought to do is we ought to say what Jesus said, get married and stay married. What God has joined together. Let not man put asunder in Tuesday's reading Matthew 1916 to 30. We meet the rich young ruler. We know that he's a rich young ruler by putting together all of the gospel accounts. It's Luke that calls him a ruler. Matthew designates him as young twice here, probably the most important thing for us to remember as we're reading. This is that Jesus is requirement to go and sell what you possess and give to the poor and come follow me. Verse 21 is not a universal requirement. It was for this one, man, this one person. It is not for everyone. Somehow that verse causes people to get squeamish today because I haven't done that. Don't be squeamish. Jesus. Didn't tell you to do that. And really, while there's a lot of conversation about selling the emphasis here in the text is you need to follow me. The possessions are in the way of the man coming and following him. Uh, so if you are going to make something out of this and we ought to make application of this, well, we ought to get out of this is we need to follow Jesus in. Yes, that would mean that we need to be ready to give up anything that's going to get in the way of following Jesus. Jesus identifies in this man's life. Exactly what that hindrance is, puts his finger on it and says, this has to go. Maybe what you and I need to be thinking about as we read today is if we came up to Jesus and we said, Hey, I want to follow you. And I'm a good church going person. And I do my daily Bible reading. What would Jesus say to us? What would Jesus say to you? This is in the way you need to give this up. So you can be fully devoted to following me. That's Tuesdays reading Wednesdays reading takes us into Matthew chapter 20 and the parable of the laborers in the vineyard. This parable is only found in Matthew. So it is a particular interest to us because we have not read it yet this year. And it is all based on how the work day went. The Workday in Jesus's time would be about 12 hours from Dawn to sundown, starting at six, roughly going to six don't think they had to mess with daylight savings time and all of that business. And the principle here that Jesus is working with is the commonly accepted economic principle that the person who works the longest should receive the most. And what Jesus does is completely upset that in the kingdom of heaven, by saying, that's not how God does business. That's not how God's grace operates. And as a result of that, there's some grumbling verse 11, but Jesus helps us see that being in the kingdom and receiving forgiveness and mercy from God. Isn't a matter of earning and work. Oh, I've been in the kingdom long enough. I've gone to church and endured enough long sermons that now finally I can get my wages. It's not about wages. It's about grace and we can't grumble about God's grace, even when it's extended to someone who may come to the kingdom very late in life. I think about the thief on the cross. And I'll just give you this to consider a little bit. Sometimes we look over at someone, maybe who's enjoyed a life of sin and I use that term advisedly, but there are passing pleasures of sin. Hebrews 11 tells us, and then maybe lies. I said, late in life, they become a Christian and we think, wow, they got sand and heaven too. What a JIP I've been over here in the kingdom of heaven the whole time, not enjoying those passing pleasures of sin. Can I caution you about that kind of thinking? There are a number of reasons why it's better to get in the field, to use the language of the parable. As soon as you can get there. For example, being in the field all day long means security. Those other guys, weren't on vacation, having a great time. They were panicking. How am I going to feed my family? What am I going to do for wages today? They were worried and nervous while the workers knew they would receive good things at the end of the day and being a Christian means you pillow your head at night, knowing you're going to heaven. You're in a safe relationship with Jesus Christ. What's that worth. Sometimes we look at the passing pleasures of sin and thank all of they're having a great time over there. We don't think about how hard it is to sleep at night, nagging, consciences, feelings of guilt, uselessness, meaninglessness in life. We don't consider that Christian you've had that all along. And of course, being in the field all day means you got in the field. There are folks who decide they've grown to be a Christian someday, maybe at five o'clock, I'll go to work for the master. And somehow they don't ever manage to get there. Maybe a tragedy cut their lives short, or maybe they were enjoying the passing pleasures of sin so much. They decided, nah, I'm never really going to get over there or I'll get over there later. And then they just don't ever make it getting in the field. Now's a great plan because it's where you most certainly need to be when life comes to an end, which finally means that being in the field will give you a chance to influence others like your children. And know some folks who didn't come to know Christ until much later in their adult life and their children were grown and raised and they would give anything for their children to come to know Jesus, but their kids aren't interested in the kingdom of heaven at all. And they didn't have the chance to teach their children about Jesus when they were little, because they didn't know about Jesus when they were, when those kids were little, what a terrible, terrible loss. Those folks look at Christians who are in the field early in the day, so to speak and who are teaching their children to be in the field with them. And they see that with great envy and yes, with some heartbreak because they wish so much they could influence their kids that way. Christian, don't be envious of those who are in the world and who are involved in wickedness. That's just the deception of Satan pulling at you. Trying to get you to leave the field, stop working for the master. Be delighted that you are in the field and knowing the blessings of serving Jesus Christ. There that's Wednesdays Bible reading. Let's go to Thursday's Bible reading. As we continue in Matthew chapter 20 beginning verse 17, that's Thursdays reading Matthew chapter 2017 to 34 3 episodes here. Jesus, foretells his Daph. Then the mother of James and John comes with a terrible request. And finally, Jesus heals two blind men. The predictions in verses 17, 18, and 19 contained some important points, betrayal. The first mention here of Romans, the first mention of the crucifixion. Matthew's the only one who indicates the specific nature of Jesus's death here. And of course, Jesus talks about being condemned verse 18, that would indicate legal proceedings. Then James and John's mother shows up asking for her children to sit on the right and left hand in the kingdom verse 21. It is obvious she does not have a clue and they do not have a clue. What the kingdom is all about. This really suggests something out of Psalm 110, the right hand would be the place of prestige and power. Jesus responds with some things about a cop verse 22, the cup refers to judgment the wrath of God, Jeremiah chapter 25 verses 15 to 28 used in the Psalms in the same kind of way. I think what Matthew is giving us here is just a good look on how far behind the disciples still are on what the kingdom is about and what it means for Jesus to be a king. You and I, we need to ask ourselves, are we still behind? Are we still thinking about some kind of physical kingdom? Are we still thinking about some thousand year reign and Jesus is on a physical throne in Jerusalem. And so doing the nations and all that physical business that James and John are looking for here, that's not what the kingdom is about. It's not going to be about that and they need to get up to speed. Maybe we need to get up to speed as well as we think about the spiritual kingdom that Jesus is king of finally, then Jesus heals the blind here, mark and Luke mentioned only one blind man, Matthew two, mark names. Him. It is Bartimaeus mark 10 46. But of course this isn't a contradiction. Matthew likes to give more details, particularly about the number of people that are there. There are some conversation sometimes about Jericho here, and there's a attempt on Bible skeptics part to make some sort of Bible contradiction here. But Jericho had an old city in a new city and there'd be different parts of that as Jesus moves through there, probably what we really need to notice is that there is no command in verse 34 for him to be silent. Jesus has been healing people. And then he says, don't tell anybody, but there's no command about that here because the time for silence has passed. It's time for people to grapple with who Jesus is that he is the king and he is coming in to the capital city like a king would. That's the triumphal entry. That's our reading for Friday. All right, let me grab some coffee here. Get a little sip of this coffee cup of Joe keeps us going. Let me give you some ideas that will help you as we begin the last week of Jesus's life as described and covered in Matthew's gospel that begins in Matthew chapter 21 on Sunday with the triumphal entry. Now the chronology of all of these events can be problematic and people get very bent out of shape about that. And some people really try to drill down on every detail. Generally speaking, I'm going to give you this scheme for the week, and I don't want to don't want you to think of this as being absolutely definitive. It's the absolute last word, but it seems to fit. It seems to work. And this is basically what I work from Sunday. The triumphal entry on Monday, Jesus cleanses the temple on Tuesday. That was a day of questioning and teaching on Wednesday. We don't know what Jesus did. Maybe he rested and prepared himself. That leaves us Thursday, where there is the Passover gets Semini and harassed. And then into Friday, the early morning trials. And of course the crucifixion of Jesus Saturday, Jesus would have been in the tomb and Sunday the resurrection. So that's what I'm going to work with. As I try to parse out what Matthew is giving us, and that begins in Matthew chapter 21 verses one to 11 with the triumphal entry. The key thing here is to notice that Jesus arranges every bit of this. It is all done per Jesus's instructions, and it's all done to make a very specific point. And that is why I really love having this podcast because it's very difficult to run all of that out in my Friday, Bible reading and so forth. But this is straight out as like a RIAA nine straight out of Zechariah nine second, Ryan nine and verse nine says rejoice greatly O daughter of Zion, shout aloud or daughter of Jerusalem. Behold, your king is coming to you righteous and having salvation. Is he humble and mounted on a donkey on a Colt foal of a donkey? So here Jesus is fulfilling the Zechariah nine prophecy Matthew 21 verse five is making mention of that in working with that. A part of this is probably coming out of Isaiah 62, but Zechariah nine is the controlling text here. And that helps us to understand what Jesus is doing. What is the triumphal entry? Sometimes people will use this as a proof of the deity of Jesus as if that's the only thing that's going on here. Now, it certainly shows the deity of Jesus. I wouldn't argue that for even a moment, of course, but anybody could have done these things. This isn't something that's beyond the ability of a charlatan to fabricate and to do no. I think there's much more here than just, Hey, I need a proof of my messianic identity. Jesus has a stockpile of those already by this time. I think what Jesus is doing is he is explaining to us in kind of an acted out parable, the nature of the messianic kingdom and the nature and w of what kind of king he is because Zechariah nine goes on to say, in verse 10, I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim and the war horse from Jerusalem. And the battle bow shall be cut off and he shall speak peace to the nations. His rule shall be from CTC and from the river to the ends of the earth. The emphasis in Zachariah nine is that the Messiah brings peace. He stops the tools of war. He speaks peace to the nations. And so Zechariah is urging people to see that the Messiah will not be a military conqueror. He's not going to rally an army and throw out a foreign oppressing power. He is not going to be all the things. The new Testament people wanted Jesus to be no war horse for him. Instead he rides on a Colt. It is it's the non triumphal entry. If you understand what I mean by that, because humility characterizes the, this king bringing a new and very different kind of kingdom to this world. That's what Jesus would be. He is the king of peace and he is making a statement here about who he is and what kind of kingdom he has come to establish. Remember Isaiah nine, his name will be called wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting, father general, who smashes the Romans? No, that's not Isaiah nine. Isaiah nine, six, wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting father, prince of peace. Jesus gives us insight into the kingdom itself. It's about bringing peace between God and sinful people reconciling them. He is the one who does that. He is the Messiah who accomplishes that he is the prince of peace. That's what's going on in the triumphal entry. That's our reading for Friday. And as I am closing my Bible now and grabbing one more sip off the bottom of this cup of coffee. Let me give you a bonus thought, promise that from time to time, I'd have a bonus thought today. I've got a bonus thought for you. Something to be really thankful for today is November the 15th. And that means here's our bonus thought that today is the west side church of Christ anniversary on November 15th, 1950 3, 68 years ago, the west side church of Christ met for the very first time that first meeting was in a laundromat. They literally put chairs up around washing machines and dryers so that they would have a place to worship God. The west side church was formed by brethren who were concerned about additions to the work of the church and they wanted to practice pure new Testament Christianity. So they began on that Sunday 68 years ago. Many of us have been privileged to know some of the people who were there at that first meeting, Jean Willis and some of the McGowan family, Mary Lou may, and some of those good folks from years gone by. I hope I hope that you'll take a minute and just be thankful for all of those who through the years have made west side what it is. Some of them have gone to be with the Lord. And some of them are still with us today helping west side to continue to be a strong congregation that stands on the Bible and respects Bible authority. As we try to practice pure a new Testament, Christianity, the church has had an incredible history. 68 years. That's not been without difficulty. And there have been some hard times. There have been some better times where the church's very alive was at state because of false teachers and false teaching. But the congregation has come through by God's grace and power and blessing. We are United and we continue to be what Jesus calls us to be. His people, a light in the community. 68 years of that is nothing to sneeze at. We ought to be really thankful. Like I said, for the Bray brothers and sisters in Christ who started this congregation and for everyone, who's worked so hard in the lifespan of this church to continue being a church of Christ. Um, I'm, I'm very thankful that I've had the chance to be a part of this congregation's life. And I hope that you are too. And I hope that God will bless Westside with many, many, many more years where we can continue to be his people and be, as I said, a light in this community, this is a special day. We give God all the glory. Thanks and honor for everything that this church has been able to do and be as we reflect glory and honor on the head of the church. Jesus, the Christ. Well thank you for listening. That's the Monday morning coffee podcast for November the 15th. Remember if you need a Bible reading schedule, go to jus christian.com. You can download the year with Jesus' reading schedule there. If you need to listen to the sermon that I just talked more about, there is a link in the show notes, and you can just tap that and you'll be taken to that sermon right away. If you are enjoying the Monday morning coffee podcast, we would love for you to follow us and to rate and give a review on iTunes or whatever app you're listening on. That helps more people find the podcast. Maybe the best thing to do is to simply tell somebody else about the show and recommend it. There's nothing like word of mouth to encourage people to give something a try. Well until next time I am at the bottom of this cup of coffee. Now until next time, may your coffee be delightful? May your Monday be short and may the Lord be with you today all day. See you next week.

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Thanks for listening to the Westside church of Christ podcast. Monday morning coffee with Mark, for more information about Westside. You can connect with us through our website, just christian.com and our Facebook page. Our music is from uppbeat.io. That's upbeat with two P's UPPBEAT where creators can get free music. Please share our podcast with others. And we look forward to seeing you again with a cup of coffee, of course, on next Monday.